“Do you like doing things for people?” a friend asked me.
“Yes, most of the time”, I replied.
“Most of the time?” she asked again.
“Well, I love to do things that are unexpected. I like to do little things most people wouldnt think about doing.” I replied.
“But why do u say most of the time?” she was puzzled.
“Well sometimes after doing those little things, people tend to take advantage of you. I mean its like they expect you to do it again. They ask you to do it. And I dont feel comfortable at all.” I explained.
Though it seems odd, but I do love to do little things. Buy lunch for colleagues every now and then. Or help them with little things. Not a big thing really.
Actually its the not the amount forked out that counts, but the fact that I did something.
Once a very close friend (well, supposedly close lah), bragged about a mishap and was crying frantically as if seeking for mercy, pity, or whatever u call it. I sensed as if I was expected to react to the unfortunate incident and offer more assistance than I already had. But I had gone to the extent of forking out my savings to help her especially at times when her friends had walked out on her. Right now, I would of course expect her to sort out whats best to overcome her other problems on her own, as I have mine to think of too.
I dont think I should pursue. Though I do feel pity for her but a voice within me whispers “It was different then; I helped her because I wanted to. Now its like as if she WANTS me to do it to compliment her needs.”
I was struggling with the voice within me.
Upon comparing notes with other peers, apparently she had also sought help from others with different versions of “mishap” plea I suppose. Struggling with the voices within me, I got worn out over the feeling and stayed focus on my assignments and club activities so as to avoid caving in.
I then redirected my focus on my continous attempts to execute tasks at work, positively, and club’s agendas went well despite committee’s manpower was outnumbered. Most importantly, at the end of the day, I didnt really feel that much burden being put upon me. Home, though was always a mess but allows me to still be synergised to carry out my motherly duties without having to pretend or show off to anyone of my domestic deeds and accomplishments. Goodnite kisses and reminding my boys to perform their solat isya’ leaves behind a kind of “satisfactory smile” on my tired face as I succumb into slumberland.
So what is my point here?
“My point is, each time we do little things at our own will, big things happen. Allah’s hidden reward.”
Though I have offered those little helps to peers in their times of need, and even if they hardly acknowledge me nowadays, I just shrug it off with a smile.
The most important thing is I will always remember this – I DID WHAT I THOUGHT IN MY HEART WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.