This year has been a truly devastating year. Two major events took place which rumbled my confidence, self-esteem, my sanity (well, almost) and crushed the trust I had in others. I was centre-less. Had no focus. Everything I was trying to attempt, both professionally and personally, seemed to flop one after another. I had no sense of self, no confidence, and no faith in myself. It was like as if my DNA had no value like it used to have during my yesteryears.
Its already almost December 2008. Recently, I felt I had emerged a different person after surviving and recovering from the two major events. The tremendous frustrations with ex-lover, the pride-smearing oaths by some non-civilized beings, had truly open up my life to a new beginning. One night the voice within me said –
“Mossavi, its easy to look at experiences in negative ways, but you must now challenge yourself, and view them as new beginnings. You must determine what should have been, while let your heart and feelings heal naturally in the hands of ALLAH. You must think of bad experiences as putting you a step closer to the things and people Allah wants you to position yourself with.”
With a pen and paper, I started to scribble :-
- must start recognizing my strengths again. Believe in myself again. Maybe it’ll be difficult at first, but it is important.
- must start meeting more people and make more friends. Get involve. Thats the main reason why I started BizTagClub.
- watch myself in the mirror before reacting to a challenging situation (noone likes to see a monster in the mirror hehehe).
- its OK to have problematic emotions; acknowledge it, but dont send it out on others.
- if ever I am being confronted by someone who purposely wants to trigger problematic emotions, I will impose an optional positive image in my mind (like my kucing at home perhaps 🙂 ).
- my words, thoughts and emotions have the power to change my perceptions of my surroundings. My perception creates my reality.
- I’ll connect with nature whenever stressed (maybe thats why I just love gardening on weekends when I hv the time to)