Following my chat with Shareena last night after the khenduri doa selamat & Yassin recital at our new office in Puchong, my mind started wondering… a few months’ back… positioning myself amidst the humility, anger and frustration he had put me in. The severe damages he had caused. The trust he had betrayed. And all he could utter was just a teeny, weeny small appeal of “Abg sorry”……
Arrived home, showered & got ready for bed. My vulnerable self, talking out loud … with a more subtle approach and greater care, subconsciously recalling those moments …..
“My whole world suddenly seemed upside down when I learned the sad reality that the love I thought forever was over. Instantly I was forced to look at things differently and realized my days ahead will no longer include him. Alhamdulilah, it has also made me realized that the key to holding on to a relationship with someone who had betrayed our honesty & sincerity is keeping my dignity and grace especially during my times of discomfort and pain.
Whether it makes sense or otherwise, I guess that a great friendship ought to be given its chance to develop from a broken love relationship. I had cared for him, his family and friends enough to enter into a romantic relationship, so I might just as well be reason enough this time around, and allow ourselves to be great friends in the future. I guess the manner I will be reacting during this healing period will determine the likelihood of this.”
In fact Shareena, from the mistakes I have learnt, let us sustain the strength needed to keep a level head especially when we found out that our loved one had betrayed us :-
- Dont initiate contact for at least 2 weeks. If he calls, make it short. If he doesnt, either he no longer cares or he is further boosting his ego;
- If you feel you must let your feelings out to him, pen them down in a journal, diary or blog. Trust me, I’ve learnt how blogging keeps my mind aligned with positive notes. Noone understand you better than you yourself;
- Lets not forget to also express a little or some gratitude on any pleasant moments you have had with him, (like dinner with him, or a gift from him etc). Wish him well with whatever future maybe in store for him;
- Since it isnt healthy to keep dwelling on the negative pasts, lets cut the deliberations short. I derailed my focus on creative works, action-oriented projects which kept my mind busy and it worked!
- I gave myself the opportunity to start anew;
- I assessed and re-assessed myself especially on silly mistakes to ensure its not repeated in the future;
- If he wanted a second chance, take time to really gauge the cause of the break, and how it could or should have been handled.
- If he is already seeing someone new, avoid at all costs. I usually tell myself this “If he really had the intention of and was truly interested in dating many others other than me right from the beginning, yet swear to me repeatedly that “I am his only love as in Truly” ….. then he was never Mr Right (not even to the other women he had sweared similar Yours Truly words too mind you!)
That means Shareena darling ….. our Mr Right is still out there waiting for us! 🙂