I’m The Guilty One?

What foolhardiness!  How to come to a false question, remark or comments when we are so sincere?  Our sincerity is understandable, but their falseness? Mankind have always been known to be dishonest, deceiving themselves and others.

This is the society in which we think that flagrant insincerity is normal and right.  This is the society of fragile marriages, majority divorces and pre-nuptial agreements. This is the society that liars are right, and truth-speaking “fools” (like me) are wrong and condemned. And in the end, the liars and hypocrites are well-rewarded with respect and popularity. Sigh.

Lying, insincerity, is largely protective. It protects against disclosure, from which arises danger, and from danger comes the risk of suffering. Lies protect against suffering (no wonder liars live happily ever after, and those who speak the truth like me, suffers). The harsh truth may be that the only remedy for lies is suffering–conscious suffering (is that so huh?). The direction in which sincerity lies is uncomfortable. It is unfamiliar, so steeped in lies are we. The unfamiliar path is thorny, unblazed, resistant.

He lies to others; he lies to himself. He declares willingness to undertake a challenge, when in fact he’s not really willing to see it through–and he fabricates justifications, excuses, in the back of his mind.

Blunt, mindless ‘honesty’ does not seem to be required (so, saya bersalah lah kerana bersikap benar, macam tu?).  If I know it when I see it, then it must be there, inside me, somewhere. Something within me must respond to it, like to like. And when I respond, it’s always in accordance with its nature in me, and in the other. I respond to sincerity, and express sincerity, in context (tapi saya tetap dipandang sebagai pesalah mandatory kelas satu).

Perhaps that’s the great telling point of sincerity. It has the resonance of authenticity in context–it seems genuinely to be connected to something else, something bigger, grander, that validates it (tu sebab kebenaran yang ada bersama saya amat digeruni oleh para penipu.)

Little children, famously, are at first capable of sincerity.  We recognize sincerity in them–and they have more of it because they are closer to its source (tu sebab I just LOVE kids).

Insincerity is always weakness, sincerity even in error (like me) signifies strength.

Sincerity makes the least person to be of more value, than the most talented hypocrite.

I’ll always be sincere, whether I mean it or not.

Salvation is in sincerity.

“Wahai saudara-saudara ku, berhenti lah menabur ayat-ayat cinta atau ayat-ayat yang sewaktu dengannya terutama sekali yang palsu jika ianya hanya bertujuan untuk kepentingan peribadi tanpa menyedari bahawa perbuatan itu akan menghancurkan pihak yang jujur yang tidak menyedari bahawa dia sedang di tipu.”

Yang kelakar tu, bila penipuan si penipu dapat dihidu oleh yang dah kena tipu, si penipu marah pada yang dah kena tipu dan siap bagi warning lagi, sebab dia takut penipuan nya akan di”terhidu” oleh bakal-bakal yang akan kena tipu yang mungkin terbaca komen dari yang dah pernah kena tipu ni walhal jauh dilubuk hati tak terlintas langsung apa-apa agenda yang negatif …… lebih kurang macam tu lah nasihat saya.  Saya telah pun acknowledge kesilapan-kesilapan yang lalu bila membiarkan diri ditipu, dan tak nak bersubahat, apa lagi mengulanginya tapi kalau si penipu nak teruskan juga kerjaya beliau, janganlah terasa hati kalau ada diantara bakal-bakal yang kena tipu cuba mencari kebenaran dari saya ….. I’m such a pain and a nerd to myself bleeeaagghhhhhh …. why did I get myself entangled dengan orang yg suka menipu ni in the first place aaaarrrrgghhhh!!

Boleh tak nak pinjam Time Machine?  Walaupun perkara ni dah beberapa bulan berlalu but luka berdarah belum heal completely yet.  Wanna erase the moments that truly hurts especially those I cant forget most 😦  Allah be with me please …  


One Response

  1. The last paragraph seems like my entry, ‘menipu, ditipu, tertipu.’ Huhu.

    Biasa lah, orang yang menipu dipandang tinggi. Kita yg benar ni kena kondem.

    Paling tak boleh blah, bila kita bukak temberang dia, dia bole warning macam2. Pastu berlagak macam dia tak buat apa-apa. Kata kita buat fitnah. Yang menyokong si penipu adalah golongan yang berkepentingan, dan yang BODOH.

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