One of my daily quotes on love :-
“It is impossible to repent of love. The sin of love does not exist.”
And I started to ponder. And I started to analyse my past. Other’s pasts as well. And I started to recall. And I began asking myself questions. All seems mysterious. And when that happens …. I sighed …. “Oh well, only ALLAH knows best.” Then I am relieved of all forms of stress.
As I utter out loud to myself :-
“If I find myself in love with someone who does not love me, I’ll be gentle with myself. There is nothing wrong with me. Love just didnt chose to rest in the other person’s heart. Then, if I found someone else who is in love with me, but I dont love him, I’d still feel honoured that love came and called at my heart’s door, but I’ll gently refuse the gift I cannot return; I’ll not take advantage; I’ll not cause pain. How I’ll deal with love, is how I’ll deal with myself. Coz I’m sure all of us feel the same. The joys. The sorrows. Even if our lives and ways are different.
And if I fell in love with another, and if he fell in love with me, then suddenly, love chooses to leave, I’ll tell myself not to try to reclaim, or to assess to blame. I’ll tell myself to just let it go. There is a reason. I’m sure to know in time.
I’ll always remember that I didnt choose to love. Love chooses to greet me at times I least expect so. All I can really do is to accept it for all its mystery when it comes into my life. Feel the way it fills me. Then reach out and give it back to the person who brought it alive in me. Give it away to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around me in anyway I can. I guess this is where many lovers go wrong. Many of us, like me, having been so long without love, we understood love only as a personal need. People see their hearts as empty places that should be filled with love. They only looked at love as something that flows TO them, rather than FROM them.
My own experience recognizes that the first blush of a new love is always filled with heated overflowing feelings of love, but later when things get cold, we revert to seeing our love as a need. We cease to be someone who generates love, instead we become someone who is selfishly looking for love. That way, we will never find any.
What is the secret of love? Its a gift in itself. It endures pain. But a bearable one. Thats how mysterious love is.
Today, I’m gonna remember all that I have said to myself. I’ll keep it to my heart. Love has its own time. Its own seasons. And its own reasons for coming and going. I cannot bribe or coerce it, or even reason it into saying. I can only embrace it when it arrives, and give it away when it comes to me. But if love chooses to leave my heart, or from the heart of the one I love, there is nothing I can do and there is nothing I should do.
Love has always been and will always be a MYSTERY. I’m just thankful even if it only came to live for a moment in my life. The SYNERGY of love – love never dies as it grows continously as a source of food for the soul – love for Allah, family, children, other beings and not forgetting myself“
……… and I uttered repeatedly, so I will remember. Always.